Training with a tiny baby

I am a student in my last year of the Advanced Diploma, and I have a baby who is almost 1 years old. It took me some time to figure out and decide if I could juggle training, being pregnant and having a baby and when I found out I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant naturally, it made the decision for me because I couldn’t wait till after I had finished training to start IVF – this wasn’t an option for me.

I made the decision to continue training throughout IVF, pregnancy and having a small child knowing that my mind would be kept busy and distracted, which has worked to an extent. That’s not to say it hasn’t been incredibly challenging. The reading in training at this level is complex and often triggering for every student on an emotional level, especially whilst in therapy as well, so I have needed extra self-care to ensure my body is nourished to hold a baby, and to make sure I am ethically working with my clients; there’s been a lot of juggling and so much to think about and handle. I’ve needed a huge amount of support from family and friends to keep me going throughout. 

Training with a small baby has been equal parts challenging and refreshing. It’s given me time and space to keep my identity of who I was before being a mother, but equally it’s been so hard being away from my child and the mum guilt that comes with it. Again, my support network has been absolutely paramount. 

The Counselling Foundation have been so supportive of my choices which I hugely respect, and I am so incredibly proud of what my body and brain has been able to achieve over the last 5 years and the realisation of just how resilient I can be. I am now in a position to be self-employed with my own private practice which will mean I can be around more for my child in the future, which I can only see as hugely beneficial. 

However, if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I probably wouldn’t and would take a break from training. It’s not that you can’t do it, I’m proof that you absolutely can. My question is am I getting what I want out of the course and my training? And it’s a no because I don’t have the time and headspace to reflect enough on what I’m learning. Perhaps it’s like this for all mothers, but the intense attunement I have with my child often being disrupted because of papers and clients means I don’t digest and process what we speak about in seminars in the way I did before. 

If you have the choice, I would say take a break from the training, but if you decide to continue – make sure there’s plenty of support around you. But know The Counselling Foundation will support your choices.

Author: Xenna Kaser, current TCF student

We provide a BACP accredited counselling service, however if you are in crisis, please call the Samaritans who are available 24/7 on 116 123 or call 111.